Published Letter

So earlier this week I wrote a letter to the editor of the Salt Lake Tribune.  They published it!

Sex-Ed Ignorance


Sex-ed Ignorance
I agree with legislators that abstinence, contraception, sexuality and other life choices should be taught in the home.
However, how will parents teach these topics if they themselves weren't taught?
This is why comprehensive sex education is crucial.

Future Note

This post is more for me than anyone else.  I know that my blog is a sort of journal and I'll read this post in the future and remember.  Scott, when you write your book, "The Four Sins of Gaydom", remember "Oh the Places You'll Go," when it comes to writing about stagnation.

That is all.

Another Step Forward

One more step down today.  I met with a general counselor to help plan my classes.  I learned a lot too.  But I am such a procrastinator.  After all, classes start on the 9th.  But that step is done.

I have to say, I am nervous.  Not per se for the classes, or for college itself, but balancing school and a full-time job.  It has been my anger/disappointment/frustration with work that has spurred me to return to college to get my degree.  We have cashiers that have been there for over 15 years.  And no offense, but they're worn out husks of what they probably could have been.  I don't want to be that and I think I have so much untapped potential that retail will never touch.

The counselor recommended that I take two classes or about six credits.  That sounds good to me.  He said that English was a good choice.  Math, science and English were the only areas where "you won't just be unemployed after graduation."  He also talked about English teachers being able to teach other topics like drama, etc.  That sort of makes me cringe.  Not that those topics aren't very important to students, but that to have a career I'd have to generalize more.  Ugh.  But, I want a career, not just an empty degree. 

He also recommended that I get to know the EDU professors very well.  I'll need a letter of recommendation to get into a teaching program.  That will be a change for me and one that I knew I'd need to make.  Back in high school, teachers really loved me.  I had one that cried when I graduated.  I got along well with all of them and really well with a few.  Skip forward to BYU.  I don't think any professors knew my name or anything about me.  And it wasn't just because of large classes or something.  I went to class, took notes, and left.  I never liked those students you'd see crowding the professor after class asking questions and getting attention.  But... it's probably those students who finished their degrees and have promising careers and homes now. 

So what advice do any of you have so that I can step out of my comfort zone and know professors well enough that when the time comes, they can write me an excellent letter of recommendation?

Merry Christmas to all! Thanksgiving isn't the only time to be thankful. I'm thankful for my family, my Layton friends, my Salt Lake friends, my Provo friends, prietenii mei de misunea, and my co-workers. Each of you have contributed to who I am.

A special thank you to Aaron who is my one and only. You make Christmas special!

No Candy!

For the month of November, Aaron and I have been on a no candy diet.  The idea had been rattling around in my head for a month or so.  It took shape on Halloween.  We had purchased a giant bag of really good candy to give out.  We only got one child.  I gave him a huge handful of the goodies, but that left us with pounds of candy. 

I don't know about you, but even really good food can seem gross if there's a lot of in one place.  My best example:  I like mayo on my sandwiches, but when I see a large vat of it... Gross!  I got that feeling when I looked at the bag of candy. 

So for the whole month, I haven't had a Reece's Pieces, a fruit snack, or a candy bar. 

There have been hard parts.  Walking down the candy aisle at work was a major temptation.  I think my nose had become sensitive to the smell.  I could smell the chocolate and I craved it.

Another time, Aaron accidentally put fruit snacks in my lunch.  When I pulled them out, I groaned.  I wanted them so bad. 

So yesterday, I got the idea to make brownies.  That really hit the spot. 

The day after tomorrow I can eat the peanut butter M&Ms I have sitting behind me.  I can't wait!

A Different Anniversary and Thankfulness

Three years ago today I came out to my parents.  At that point it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.  It was at an Education Week the year before that I was inspired to come out to my parents.  The following January, I realized how hard it was for Aaron to date a closeted man.  I vowed and made a new year's resolution that he wouldn't have another Christmas with me closeted. 

I've shared it here before, but I have a theory.  The Holy Ghost is a spirit of truth.  When someone bears their testimony of truth, if you're receptive, you'll feel it.  Coming out is one of the bigger truths of your personality and existence.  You may have been hiding it for years.  I'm sure you were like me and it built walls between you and your loved ones and friends.  That distance is painful and makes you feel lonely.  When you are prompted to come out --and I think it is a prompting-- listen!  My coming out to my parents was a spiritual experience for me.  I shared the truth.  The Holy Ghost responded.  I am closer to my family than I have been in a very long time.

Pray to your Heavenly Father and ask him for the bravery to come out.  Ask him for a prompting to know when the time is right.  Then search for that opportunity.  Don't procrastinate it.  You'll want to say, "Oh, after the holidays.  Or once I've graduated."  Or whatever.  God will prompt you, but it probably won't be when you expect or want.  But have the bravery to act.

I wrote shortly about my experience here.  I do not think that God wants you to remain closeted or in pain.

Moving on...

Aaron and my family have integrated wonderfully.  He gets along so well with everyone.  When we were first getting used to the idea, I told him that eventually I wanted it so that he could go to my family without me and feel perfectly accepted.  I think we're nearly there.

So for this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for coming out, a loving family, a loving partner, a loving Heavenly Father, and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

School... Again.

Earlier this year I was at Lava Hot Springs with a bunch of friends.  Aaron, myself and three others were headed to the hot springs.  Two of my friends in the back seats were talking about house payments and retirement.  I was listening and it hit me how different their stories are from me. 

Aaron and I have dreams.  One of those is owning a home with a backyard and washing/drying machine.  We'd like to own a cat and a dog.  It's the American dream right?

There is no way that we can achieve those dreams on the path I'm currently on.  I work in a dead-end job.  While I was in the car, it hit me that I have the job of an eighteen year old.  I'm thirty-three now!  It was then I had an epiphany:  I needed to return to college and get my degree.  As soon as I had that conclusion, it felt right.

But the thought occurred to me, a degree doesn't get you that much.  How many of you, your friends, or family have degrees but do nothing with them?  I want a much better job because I get a degree.  It wasn't long after that thought that my mind latched onto becoming a teacher.  It's true that teachers in general (and Utahn teachers in specific) don't make very much.  But I assure you, they make much more than I currently do.

So I began the steps towards getting back to school.  I'm a procrastinator and move very slow when doing new things.  When I have frustrating days at (retail) work, it spurs me to come home and complete the next step.  So yesterday I got my application for student aid completed.  I have my transcripts.  Soon I will be enrolled in SLCC.  I hope to get some classes fixed and anything else I need done before transferring to the U. 

I think to myself, you know if you started this when you first moved to Salt Lake, you'd be a teacher by now and well on your way to achieving your dreams.  But no matter, I am on the path right now.

I used to think that the mistakes I made at BYU couldn't be rectified.  I fell into yet another rut.  It feels *very* good to be moving forward again.

Gamer by J00P1T3R


Okay, so I'm a gaming geek amongst other things.  This mega-mix is awesome!  You know, I'm a huge Mario fan, but I find the Zelda theme to be even better.  

The Future

I have a theory.  It's called the Four Sins of Gaydom.  (I'm sure they apply to all people, but especially gays.)  One of those four is Stagnation.  It's so easy to be stuck in a rut.  This could be emotionally, socially, financially, or in your career.  Of the four sins, stagnation is the one I'm prone to.  I fear change.  For the longest while, I was content to live in Provo as a student even though I had dropped out of school.  I just worked a part time job and played the rest of the time.  At another time I was afraid of relationships and wanted to stay an unattached single.  It's easy to stay put and difficult to progress and change.

A week ago, Aaron and I were with twenty other friends at the schoolhouse at Lava Hot Springs.  Five of us were in a car on our way to swim at the springs.  In the back seat two friends were talking about their careers and homes.  One was planning on retiring when he's fifty.  Both were talking about their mortgages and owning their homes.  The thought occurred to me, "I don't have any of that.  I don't have a career.  I have the job of an eighteen-year-old.  I don't have any prospects either.  Aaron and I are nowhere near retirement.  We also are nowhere near purchasing a home."  These thoughts occur to me from time to time, nagging in the background.  But I push them out and justify my situation.  This time it was different.

"I can change it!"  Right then, inspiration hit me.  I can go back to school, get my degree and get a career.  There are many reasons why I should get my degree.  I can become more educated.  I can be more well-rounded.  But most importantly, I can get a real career with a real future.

I talked to Aaron about it.  I wasn't sure what kind of career I wanted.  But it hit me, I want to be a teacher.  More specifically, I want to be a high-school teacher.  It feels right to me.  And yes, it's not the best pay.  Here in Utah, the average teacher salary is $40k.  It may be small in comparison to other careers, but it's a HUGE improvement for me.

I am excited!  I have many steps in front of me, but it's something that will make me a much better person.  I can rectify something I thought was irreparable.  I know the path back may be difficult.  But Aaron and I are dedicated and excited.

Look forward to blogs about my path forward.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

New Levels of Nerd

So I've achieved a new level of nerd.  To give you an idea of where I've been, I'll list some of the nerdy things I do.

I write Star Trek collaborative fan fiction.
98% of the books I own are science fiction
98% of the movies I own (or watch) are science fiction.
I love Tron.
I would *love* to own a Star Trek uniform.

That's just a taste.  I know my nerd level is still low in comparison to some.  But I'm a Gerd (gay + nerd) and that's a whole other breed.

So back on track.  I subscribed to a comic book.  I received it two days ago and I am *so* happy!  I can't wait to get my next edition!  X-Men shows up in my mail box once a month.  No need to go to a comic book store and talk with Comic Book Guy to see if my edition has come in and if they've sold out.  Nope, it just shows up, I read it, enjoy it and anticipate the next.

So this is a new level for me.  Would I like to go to a comic-con?  Yes!  Would I dress up?  Probably!

BTW, all this came about from watching Gay Comic Geek on youtube.com

Our Easter Vacation

For Easter, Aaron and I traveled to Mesa, Arizona stopping in Las Vegas both ways.  We *love* this trip!  It's always warm and pleasant down there.  It's great to leave behind the false spring we get in Utah.  This year we did even more new things along with our traditions. 

View from our hotel window.

Our first Komodo Dragon of the trip.  They're big!

Petting the rays.

Jellyfish at the Mandalay Bay Aquarium.

A giant Wacky Wall Walker.

Red Square Restaurant

Superstition Mountains hike.

A beautiful collared lizard

Petroglyphs on the end of our hike.

A water snake at the pool of the petroglyphs.

A couple of lesbians took this pic of us.

All the cacti were in bloom.  Beautiful.

A baboon at the Phoenix Zoo.

Riding an Oryx.

Glad to be Gay

I once wanted to make a humorous t-shirt that listed one hundred reasons I was glad to be gay.  I never reached that many reasons and since then I've forgotten nearly all of them.  Yesterday I was reminded of one of them. 

I was reading a "Dear Abby" style article in the paper.  The woman writing in wrote how she was sure her husband was having an affair.  She gave the dimensions of the "woman".  Then she spoke how her husband would spend more time with her and seemed to like her more.  "I know everyone would just advise me to leave him." she wrote.  It turns out object of her anger is a flat screen television and an Xbox 360.

Yes, she's jealous of a television and a gaming system. 

I laughed.

I'm very lucky.  I'm partnered to Aaron, a guy who enjoys video games as much as I do.  No jealousy issues at all.  Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of women out there who enjoy video games.  (I'm sure many of them could kick my trash on Halo: Reach.)  However, we men out number them by... well, I can't even count!

I'm glad I'm gay because my partner loves (video) games as much as I do!

Now the letter didn't specify how much the guy is spending on the Xbox.  Is it two hours a day, or twenty?  Is it really a problem, or just the woman exaggerating?  Either way, this isn't the problem, it's a symptom.  I've known guys who spent all their waking hours on a console.  This wasn't because it was so enthralling or entertaining.  It was because they were trying to escape the pressures of life they found unbearable. 

The "Abby" person wrote that the woman should try to find a game they could both enjoy on the console.  I think that's a great idea.  But I think along with that she should try to find out the cause of the symptom rather than just alleviate it. 

Frustration!

I just read that the Second-parent Adoption bill failed to advance in the Utah Senate committee.  As a refresher, Utah law only allows married or single, non-cohabiting adults to adopt.  This is mostly to stop gay couples from adopting.  I'm sure many straight people get the short end of the stick too.  So I guess you could live on your own, adopt a child and then invite your same-sex partner to live with you.  Inconvenient, true.  But if you're dedicated to becoming a father or mother it could be done.  It's another example of separate but (not) equal.

So, this new bill would propose that biological parents can choose who can adopt their child, whether they're cohabiting or not.  Of course it didn't pass.  It would effectively be a loop-hole to Utah's backwards adoption rules.  But logically, it should have passed.  Lately our legislature has been trumpeting their horn about less government, less intrusive government and parental rights.  But it seems that in an issue like this, the government believes it should be able to tell biological parents whom they can allow their children to be cared for by and the future of those children.  I could believe that perhaps orphans would be held to this double standard because they're "wards of the state".  But stepping on parental rights? 

A quote from the comment section of this article:  "Utah law prohibits anyone who is living in an unmarried, cohabiting relationship from adopting or fostering children." And yet there is no law on the planet that can keep unmarried, cohabiting individuals from actually having children, so the law is ridiculous. And why shouldn't gay and lesbian people have the same right as straight people to endure a nasty custody battle if things don't work out?

I guess it goes to show that homophobia trumps Republican/Tea Party ideals of small and unobtrusive government.  Hypocritical?  Yes!

Change and Promises

Do you remember this last presidential election?  Presidential hopeful Obama ran on a campaign ideal of change.  He gave people hope that our government could change and our nation could become better.  We were unhappy with how things were running.  He inspired a lot of people. 

I felt pragmatic (some may say cynical).  I remember commenting that either candidate wouldn't be able to fix all of our country's problems or even the major ones.  No one man or administration can do that.  But I think most people who voted for President Obama believed that somehow he could.  That hope was unrealistic.

Time passed.  He didn't make the progress that people thought he should.  Change didn't come fast enough.  People became jaded and lost hope.  So everyone started blaming the Obama administration for everything.

Well, I hope people remember today.  The Senate has voted to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  President Obama kept his promise.  And this isn't a small thing at all.  Our servicemen and -women will not have to give up their integrity in order to serve our nation.  All citizens of the United States deserve equality, but especially those who would give their lives to defend it.

I have hope.  I have hope that this change will reverberate throughout our nation.  Let everyone know that gay men and women have achieved another large step on the quest for equality.

PS - I didn't vote for Obama.  But I believe in him.

Retailers Drawing Line on Returns

Retailers Drawing the Line on Returns

So I just read this article on retail stores and emerging policies on returns.  I'll start by saying I hate returns.  I take them back all day, every day.  Places I've worked had rules and policies for returns.  When I first started in retail, I followed them to a 't'.  Then I found out that most of the management broke the rules constantly.  I changed my policies to be more in line with theirs.  Unless you've worked retail, you don't realize how much returns hurt the company and the consumer. 

Think about it.  How do you know the product you purchased has been used previously?  Did a previous customer return the microwave because it shorted out but made it look nice and clean?  Did a woman wear the sweater you're buying and stain it with something that only be seen by black light?  Can you tell?  No?  Neither can the employees at the store you're purchasing it from.  So it goes back out on the shelf (nearly) as good as new.  This happens at every single store and every single chain in retail. 

The article talks about preventing 'return fraud'.  It happens all the time.  Dishonest people will change tags on product, shoplift product and then return it for an in store credit, or many other creative way of thievery.  All of it is loss and means the various retail stores have to charge more for the product.  Theft drives prices up.

I could go on and on about this.  But I need to head to bed.  If you're even contemplating returning a product when you buy it, do one of two things:  1)  Don't buy it.  If you're questioning the purchase maybe you should wait till you need it.  We're living in hard times.  Or 2) keep the receipt and the tags for the product.  Ask the cashier what the return policy on the product is.  Then if you exceed the time period or the rules, don't think you're special and should have an exemption.  Just accept that you are past the limit on the return and live with it.  After all, you don't know where that return will end up.

Family is Pretty Sweet

So, I have a pretty cool family.  Yes, my mom and dad and siblings and in-laws are really cool.  But this time I'm talking about a cousin of mine.  I chatted with one of my cousins on facebook yesterday.  This is a cousin from my dad's side, which I don't know as well.  We'd visit his family in Salt Lake every once in awhile.  But since becoming an adult I haven't seen him in years.  As such, we were never very close. 

But yesterday we had a regular chat--how're you doing, how's life and work--you know the bit.  You've had those conversations with acquaintances and relatives you don't know that well.  And I appreciate that.  But he went the extra mile.  He invited Aaron and I over to play Killer Bunnies.  He said that they still needed to meet Aaron. 

Do you know how that makes me feel?  So good!  I feel validated, loved and equal.  I can't thank him enough.  My nuclear family is awesome but I'm finding that my extended family is equally awesome.

If you have gay relatives or friends please ask them about their partners/boyfriends/girlfriends/etc.  Do and ask the same things that you would if they had a heterosexual relationship.  It'll make their day or maybe even more!

A Straight Ally's Thoughts

So, I'd like to take a moment to introduce a friend of mine.   Brad Carmack and I used to be in the same student ward at BYU.  It wasn't until recently that I knew that he was an ally for equality.  I've read many of his blog posts and was surprised to see his points of view.  It's not often you read a straight man's empathetic views on homosexuality, especially if he's an upstanding LDS fellow.  I thought I would share his thoughts on here and repost it.

Thank you.

Scott

==============================

Title: Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective

1)      President Packer’s general conference talk

2)      The recent rash of suicides by gay teens across the country, accompanying “It Gets Better Project,” and current suffering of my homosexually oriented brothers and sisters

3)      My coauthor, from whom I have received much help and inspiration, wants it out sooner than later

These are the reasons why I am releasing my book now.  I preferred to wait until Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective was groomed and edited further; however, it is not my book alone.  Heavenly Father helped me write it, and I believe He would have me release it rather than keep it on my hard drive while I spend months making minor improvements.  This book is destined to relieve some of the suffering of my homosexual brothers and sisters, though I don’t yet know by how much.  Stuart Matis, shortly before committing suicide on the steps of an LDS chapel on February 25, 2000 in Los Altos, California, wrote to his family: “Perhaps my death ... might become the catalyst for much good. I'm sure that you will now be strengthened in your resolve to teach the members and the leaders regarding the true nature of homosexuality. My life was actually killed many years ago. Your actions might help to save many young people's lives." 

So here it is- my 165-page magnum opus to date, in raw .docx and .pdf form (google doc:  https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B1u3K43P-3JoYTUzNjYwMGEtNzNmYi00ODkwLTllMzYtNjRlOTVlMWUwYTM2&hl=en

Non gmail users, in .pdf only: 

http://rapidshare.com/files/426861209/Homosexuality_A_Straight_BYU_Student_s_Perspective_Draft_2.pdf).  I invite your feedback as I’m still in the later editing stage.  Summary of the book below.

My promise to the open-minded reader is that you will be touched, you will learn things you had never considered, and your views on same-sex marriage and homosexuality in the LDS church will likely change voluntarily. 

-Bradley Carmack

Summary: The book has two parts: 1) homosexuality (chapters 1-3) and 2) same-sex marriage (chapters 4-7). 

In chapter 1, I argue that church members should have great compassion for homosexually oriented members of the church because of the personal difficulties they experience as a result of their orientation and how the Mormon community typically responds to that orientation.  I quote a number of studies and give voice to the experiences of many LDS homosexually oriented people. 

In chapter 2, I explore causation, detailing both the religious voice and the scientific consensus.  Elder Oaks noted how appropriate this type of an inquiry is: "The Church does not have a position on the causes of any of these susceptibilities or inclinations, including those related to same-gender attraction. Those are scientific questions — whether nature or nurture — those are things the Church doesn’t have a position on."  I detail 60 statements by church leaders on what causes homosexuality.  On the scientific side, I discuss 32 separate subjects to juxtapose two opposing hypotheses for the causation of homosexual orientation: 1) biological factors such as genes and pre-natal hormones, and 2) factors such as infection, molestation, and choice.  Some examples of the evidence addressed: homosexual men have, on average, measurably and significantly different ratios of the second to fourth digit of their hands than their heterosexual counterparts.  The anterior commissure of their brains is gender shifted away from the heterosexual male norm and toward the heterosexual female norm.  Their limb:trunk ratio is similarly gender-shifted, as is their performance on visio-spatial tasks, third interstitial nucleus (a region of the brain thought to be directive of male-type sexual behavior) size and density, left:right brain hemisphere ratio, brain response to sex pheromones, cochlear sound production, thalamic response to female faces, verbal abilities, physical aggressiveness, expressiveness, and childhood gender conformity to name just a few. 

In chapter 3 I examine how changeable sexual orientation is by considering relevant church doctrines and looking at the empirical evidence on both sides.

In chapter 4 I show why homosexuals can reproduce, contrary to popular belief, and note that they are no different from inherently infertile heterosexual couples as to their reproductive capacity. 

In chapter 5 I argue why, assuming for a moment that homosexual behavior is not sinful, it makes a lot of moral sense to support LDS same-sex marriage.  For instance, I show how important family is to mortal experience and point out that celibacy does not provide a family experience, while same-sex marriage does.  

Chapter 6 contains rebuttals to common anti- same-sex marriage arguments, many of which are deeply flawed.

Chapter 7 applies Elder Oaks's recent speech on the Constitution.  Many church members have said that Judge Walker should not have heard the Perry v. Schwarzenegger (Prop 8) case, but instead should have let the voice of the people of California decide the matter.  I show why this view is antithetical to our constitutional system of governance. 

In closing, I explain my motivations for writing and make invitations to the reader. 

____________________________________________________

Bio:

Brad Carmack is in his last year of the JD/MPA program at BYU. He majored in Biology, performed clerk assignments for Justice Joel Horton of the Idaho Supreme Court, and is currently a teacher’s assistant for Human Resources Law and Bioethics. Brad also regularly participates in USGA [Understanding Same Gender Attraction], an unsponsored BYU student talk group.

*Le Sigh*

I know I haven't written much in my blog lately.  I apologize.  Lately it seems I've just been working, sleeping and then repeating.  It's nearly October however.  I need to find some social energy.  There are Halloween parties and activities to plan and decorating the house as well.  On my walk home from work, I'm already seeing homes decorated for the holiday.  It really makes me smile!  This year I want to decorate the walk up our house.  I love Halloween!

Things to Know About Retail

1.You've all been frustrated by shopping carts that just won't separate from the one in front of it.  No matter hard you push or pull, it won't come apart.  So eventually you give up and try another or go for a shopping basket.  Well, you're not alone.  But after hauling those carts in a thousand times, I've learned how easy it to separate them.  I wish I had a diagram, but I'll describe it as best I can.

The insanity!

Underneath the handle is the part of the shopping cart that moves inward and upward to allow the carts to stack.  I'll call this the door.  The door is what is keeping you from getting your cart.  The door of the cart in front of the one you want is stuck on your cart.  So if you just lift the door on that cart and pull on the front one, it will come unstuck easily.





2.When you return something to the service desk of the store, the clerk there will probably ask you, "Is there anything wrong with it?"  In most cases, this isn't because he won't take the product back if it is damaged.  What he means is, "Can I put this back on the shelf or does it need to be returned to the manufacturer?"  So many customers try to conceal what's wrong with product probably because of this fear.  So inoperable merchandise ends up back on the floor and some other customer purchases it.  So be honest and let them know if there are any flaws or problems.

3.  When you do return something because it's broken one of three things will probably happen to it.  All three are determined by the manufacturer.  The manufacturer may ask the retailer to: send back the product and it will be repackaged and resold, they may get parts from the broken merchandise, or they may ask the retailer to destroy the product.

Recently, in the news there has been upheaval because people found out companies were destroying perfectly good or slightly used merchandise and throwing it away.  "It could be given to the homeless!" they cried.  It does seem wasteful to throw it away.  First, it isn't the store that comes up with the policy.  It's the manufacturer.  It isn't cost productive for them to send back/resell certain products, so they're destroyed.  Second, it can open up a whole bottle of dishonesty.  An employee or customer could purposefully harm a product in hopes of getting a discounted price.  (Trust me, it gets tried all the time.)  So next time you want to return a product, think what may happen to it.

4.  This point is more controversial.  Many times customers will approach an employee and ask if they can do something that is against policy.  The customer may not know it's against the rules when they ask.  Hopefully the employee explains with respect that he cannot do it.  But invariably no matter how it is explained to the customer, they may get mad and say, "Fine, I'll just take my business elsewhere!"

I laugh internally whenever I hear this.  Truth of the matter is, the average employee doesn't care.  They aren't paid on commission.  If you find a better product, price, or service at another business, by all means you should go there!  Customers expect employees to have strong loyalty to their employer.  Very few people in chain retail have loyalty to their company.  For most, it's a temporary job.  For others, they would shop around to find the best price, so why would they expect another customer to do different?  Even CEOs leave companies when they're going under for better prospects.  Don't use that threat against an associate, it holds no weight.

Anniversary!

Today, I am proud to say is Aaron's and I five year anniversary!  It makes me smile just saying it.  :) It simultaneously feels like so much longer and so much shorter than that.  Way back when I wasn't ready for a relationship.  I wasn't out to hardly anyone including my family and most of my friends.  I was going to BYU in fact.  But Aaron and I connected.  He had moved down from Oregon to find a nice returned missionary to settle down with.  I'm proud it was me!

Those of you who know Aaron, know how sweet and giving he is.  He always puts other people and their needs ahead of his own.  He has a wonderful sense of humor and an infectious laugh.  He is very hardworking as well.  Let me say, relationships are *hard* work.  It takes adjustments, forgiveness, empathy and sympathy and just a desire to put the other person's needs before your own.  All of that doesn't come right at the start either.  It is a process.

I am so very happy to have shared these five years with him and even happier to share many, many more.