I have a theory. It's called the Four Sins of Gaydom. (I'm sure they apply to all people, but especially gays.) One of those four is Stagnation. It's so easy to be stuck in a rut. This could be emotionally, socially, financially, or in your career. Of the four sins, stagnation is the one I'm prone to. I fear change. For the longest while, I was content to live in Provo as a student even though I had dropped out of school. I just worked a part time job and played the rest of the time. At another time I was afraid of relationships and wanted to stay an unattached single. It's easy to stay put and difficult to progress and change.
A week ago, Aaron and I were with twenty other friends at the schoolhouse at Lava Hot Springs. Five of us were in a car on our way to swim at the springs. In the back seat two friends were talking about their careers and homes. One was planning on retiring when he's fifty. Both were talking about their mortgages and owning their homes. The thought occurred to me, "I don't have any of that. I don't have a career. I have the job of an eighteen-year-old. I don't have any prospects either. Aaron and I are nowhere near retirement. We also are nowhere near purchasing a home." These thoughts occur to me from time to time, nagging in the background. But I push them out and justify my situation. This time it was different.
"I can change it!" Right then, inspiration hit me. I can go back to school, get my degree and get a career. There are many reasons why I should get my degree. I can become more educated. I can be more well-rounded. But most importantly, I can get a real career with a real future.
I talked to Aaron about it. I wasn't sure what kind of career I wanted. But it hit me, I want to be a teacher. More specifically, I want to be a high-school teacher. It feels right to me. And yes, it's not the best pay. Here in Utah, the average teacher salary is $40k. It may be small in comparison to other careers, but it's a HUGE improvement for me.
I am excited! I have many steps in front of me, but it's something that will make me a much better person. I can rectify something I thought was irreparable. I know the path back may be difficult. But Aaron and I are dedicated and excited.
Look forward to blogs about my path forward.