Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas to all! Thanksgiving isn't the only time to be thankful. I'm thankful for my family, my Layton friends, my Salt Lake friends, my Provo friends, prietenii mei de misunea, and my co-workers. Each of you have contributed to who I am.

A special thank you to Aaron who is my one and only. You make Christmas special!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

No Candy!

For the month of November, Aaron and I have been on a no candy diet.  The idea had been rattling around in my head for a month or so.  It took shape on Halloween.  We had purchased a giant bag of really good candy to give out.  We only got one child.  I gave him a huge handful of the goodies, but that left us with pounds of candy. 

I don't know about you, but even really good food can seem gross if there's a lot of in one place.  My best example:  I like mayo on my sandwiches, but when I see a large vat of it... Gross!  I got that feeling when I looked at the bag of candy. 

So for the whole month, I haven't had a Reece's Pieces, a fruit snack, or a candy bar. 

There have been hard parts.  Walking down the candy aisle at work was a major temptation.  I think my nose had become sensitive to the smell.  I could smell the chocolate and I craved it.

Another time, Aaron accidentally put fruit snacks in my lunch.  When I pulled them out, I groaned.  I wanted them so bad. 

So yesterday, I got the idea to make brownies.  That really hit the spot. 

The day after tomorrow I can eat the peanut butter M&Ms I have sitting behind me.  I can't wait!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A Different Anniversary and Thankfulness

Three years ago today I came out to my parents.  At that point it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.  It was at an Education Week the year before that I was inspired to come out to my parents.  The following January, I realized how hard it was for Aaron to date a closeted man.  I vowed and made a new year's resolution that he wouldn't have another Christmas with me closeted. 

I've shared it here before, but I have a theory.  The Holy Ghost is a spirit of truth.  When someone bears their testimony of truth, if you're receptive, you'll feel it.  Coming out is one of the bigger truths of your personality and existence.  You may have been hiding it for years.  I'm sure you were like me and it built walls between you and your loved ones and friends.  That distance is painful and makes you feel lonely.  When you are prompted to come out --and I think it is a prompting-- listen!  My coming out to my parents was a spiritual experience for me.  I shared the truth.  The Holy Ghost responded.  I am closer to my family than I have been in a very long time.

Pray to your Heavenly Father and ask him for the bravery to come out.  Ask him for a prompting to know when the time is right.  Then search for that opportunity.  Don't procrastinate it.  You'll want to say, "Oh, after the holidays.  Or once I've graduated."  Or whatever.  God will prompt you, but it probably won't be when you expect or want.  But have the bravery to act.

I wrote shortly about my experience here.  I do not think that God wants you to remain closeted or in pain.

Moving on...

Aaron and my family have integrated wonderfully.  He gets along so well with everyone.  When we were first getting used to the idea, I told him that eventually I wanted it so that he could go to my family without me and feel perfectly accepted.  I think we're nearly there.

So for this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for coming out, a loving family, a loving partner, a loving Heavenly Father, and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

School... Again.

Earlier this year I was at Lava Hot Springs with a bunch of friends.  Aaron, myself and three others were headed to the hot springs.  Two of my friends in the back seats were talking about house payments and retirement.  I was listening and it hit me how different their stories are from me. 

Aaron and I have dreams.  One of those is owning a home with a backyard and washing/drying machine.  We'd like to own a cat and a dog.  It's the American dream right?

There is no way that we can achieve those dreams on the path I'm currently on.  I work in a dead-end job.  While I was in the car, it hit me that I have the job of an eighteen year old.  I'm thirty-three now!  It was then I had an epiphany:  I needed to return to college and get my degree.  As soon as I had that conclusion, it felt right.

But the thought occurred to me, a degree doesn't get you that much.  How many of you, your friends, or family have degrees but do nothing with them?  I want a much better job because I get a degree.  It wasn't long after that thought that my mind latched onto becoming a teacher.  It's true that teachers in general (and Utahn teachers in specific) don't make very much.  But I assure you, they make much more than I currently do.

So I began the steps towards getting back to school.  I'm a procrastinator and move very slow when doing new things.  When I have frustrating days at (retail) work, it spurs me to come home and complete the next step.  So yesterday I got my application for student aid completed.  I have my transcripts.  Soon I will be enrolled in SLCC.  I hope to get some classes fixed and anything else I need done before transferring to the U. 

I think to myself, you know if you started this when you first moved to Salt Lake, you'd be a teacher by now and well on your way to achieving your dreams.  But no matter, I am on the path right now.

I used to think that the mistakes I made at BYU couldn't be rectified.  I fell into yet another rut.  It feels *very* good to be moving forward again.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Gamer by J00P1T3R

Okay, so I'm a gaming geek amongst other things.  This mega-mix is awesome!  You know, I'm a huge Mario fan, but I find the Zelda theme to be even better.  

Monday, September 05, 2011

The Future

I have a theory.  It's called the Four Sins of Gaydom.  (I'm sure they apply to all people, but especially gays.)  One of those four is Stagnation.  It's so easy to be stuck in a rut.  This could be emotionally, socially, financially, or in your career.  Of the four sins, stagnation is the one I'm prone to.  I fear change.  For the longest while, I was content to live in Provo as a student even though I had dropped out of school.  I just worked a part time job and played the rest of the time.  At another time I was afraid of relationships and wanted to stay an unattached single.  It's easy to stay put and difficult to progress and change.

A week ago, Aaron and I were with twenty other friends at the schoolhouse at Lava Hot Springs.  Five of us were in a car on our way to swim at the springs.  In the back seat two friends were talking about their careers and homes.  One was planning on retiring when he's fifty.  Both were talking about their mortgages and owning their homes.  The thought occurred to me, "I don't have any of that.  I don't have a career.  I have the job of an eighteen-year-old.  I don't have any prospects either.  Aaron and I are nowhere near retirement.  We also are nowhere near purchasing a home."  These thoughts occur to me from time to time, nagging in the background.  But I push them out and justify my situation.  This time it was different.

"I can change it!"  Right then, inspiration hit me.  I can go back to school, get my degree and get a career.  There are many reasons why I should get my degree.  I can become more educated.  I can be more well-rounded.  But most importantly, I can get a real career with a real future.

I talked to Aaron about it.  I wasn't sure what kind of career I wanted.  But it hit me, I want to be a teacher.  More specifically, I want to be a high-school teacher.  It feels right to me.  And yes, it's not the best pay.  Here in Utah, the average teacher salary is $40k.  It may be small in comparison to other careers, but it's a HUGE improvement for me.

I am excited!  I have many steps in front of me, but it's something that will make me a much better person.  I can rectify something I thought was irreparable.  I know the path back may be difficult.  But Aaron and I are dedicated and excited.

Look forward to blogs about my path forward.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

New Levels of Nerd

So I've achieved a new level of nerd.  To give you an idea of where I've been, I'll list some of the nerdy things I do.

I write Star Trek collaborative fan fiction.
98% of the books I own are science fiction
98% of the movies I own (or watch) are science fiction.
I love Tron.
I would *love* to own a Star Trek uniform.

That's just a taste.  I know my nerd level is still low in comparison to some.  But I'm a Gerd (gay + nerd) and that's a whole other breed.

So back on track.  I subscribed to a comic book.  I received it two days ago and I am *so* happy!  I can't wait to get my next edition!  X-Men shows up in my mail box once a month.  No need to go to a comic book store and talk with Comic Book Guy to see if my edition has come in and if they've sold out.  Nope, it just shows up, I read it, enjoy it and anticipate the next.

So this is a new level for me.  Would I like to go to a comic-con?  Yes!  Would I dress up?  Probably!

BTW, all this came about from watching Gay Comic Geek on

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Our Easter Vacation

For Easter, Aaron and I traveled to Mesa, Arizona stopping in Las Vegas both ways.  We *love* this trip!  It's always warm and pleasant down there.  It's great to leave behind the false spring we get in Utah.  This year we did even more new things along with our traditions. 

View from our hotel window.
Our first Komodo Dragon of the trip.  They're big!

Petting the rays.

Jellyfish at the Mandalay Bay Aquarium.

A giant Wacky Wall Walker.

Red Square Restaurant

Superstition Mountains hike.

A beautiful collared lizard

Petroglyphs on the end of our hike.

A water snake at the pool of the petroglyphs.

A couple of lesbians took this pic of us.

All the cacti were in bloom.  Beautiful.
A baboon at the Phoenix Zoo.

Riding an Oryx.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Glad to be Gay

I once wanted to make a humorous t-shirt that listed one hundred reasons I was glad to be gay.  I never reached that many reasons and since then I've forgotten nearly all of them.  Yesterday I was reminded of one of them. 

I was reading a "Dear Abby" style article in the paper.  The woman writing in wrote how she was sure her husband was having an affair.  She gave the dimensions of the "woman".  Then she spoke how her husband would spend more time with her and seemed to like her more.  "I know everyone would just advise me to leave him." she wrote.  It turns out object of her anger is a flat screen television and an Xbox 360.

Yes, she's jealous of a television and a gaming system. 

I laughed.

I'm very lucky.  I'm partnered to Aaron, a guy who enjoys video games as much as I do.  No jealousy issues at all.  Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of women out there who enjoy video games.  (I'm sure many of them could kick my trash on Halo: Reach.)  However, we men out number them by... well, I can't even count!

I'm glad I'm gay because my partner loves (video) games as much as I do!

Now the letter didn't specify how much the guy is spending on the Xbox.  Is it two hours a day, or twenty?  Is it really a problem, or just the woman exaggerating?  Either way, this isn't the problem, it's a symptom.  I've known guys who spent all their waking hours on a console.  This wasn't because it was so enthralling or entertaining.  It was because they were trying to escape the pressures of life they found unbearable. 

The "Abby" person wrote that the woman should try to find a game they could both enjoy on the console.  I think that's a great idea.  But I think along with that she should try to find out the cause of the symptom rather than just alleviate it. 

Monday, February 07, 2011


I just read that the Second-parent Adoption bill failed to advance in the Utah Senate committee.  As a refresher, Utah law only allows married or single, non-cohabiting adults to adopt.  This is mostly to stop gay couples from adopting.  I'm sure many straight people get the short end of the stick too.  So I guess you could live on your own, adopt a child and then invite your same-sex partner to live with you.  Inconvenient, true.  But if you're dedicated to becoming a father or mother it could be done.  It's another example of separate but (not) equal.

So, this new bill would propose that biological parents can choose who can adopt their child, whether they're cohabiting or not.  Of course it didn't pass.  It would effectively be a loop-hole to Utah's backwards adoption rules.  But logically, it should have passed.  Lately our legislature has been trumpeting their horn about less government, less intrusive government and parental rights.  But it seems that in an issue like this, the government believes it should be able to tell biological parents whom they can allow their children to be cared for by and the future of those children.  I could believe that perhaps orphans would be held to this double standard because they're "wards of the state".  But stepping on parental rights? 

A quote from the comment section of this article:  "Utah law prohibits anyone who is living in an unmarried, cohabiting relationship from adopting or fostering children." And yet there is no law on the planet that can keep unmarried, cohabiting individuals from actually having children, so the law is ridiculous. And why shouldn't gay and lesbian people have the same right as straight people to endure a nasty custody battle if things don't work out?

I guess it goes to show that homophobia trumps Republican/Tea Party ideals of small and unobtrusive government.  Hypocritical?  Yes!