I started my first blog July 24, 2004. Back then I started a blog as a way for my family and friends to keep up with my life. I think many people start blogs for that reason. I think it works out that way for very few people however. More often than not it provides a release for the blogger. You're able to write your feelings and by doing so work through things and understand yourself better. That and put up the silly things of your life. lol
But I have to say, life is really good. I'm proud of where I'm at and I'm proud of where I'm going. The past three years I've made some big decisions and they changed my life for the better and in ways I couldn't have guessed.
It's those big changes that have made it hard to meet/chat with some of you earlier. About three years ago I finally admitted to myself that I'm gay. Yeah, even now it's hard to type it. It's a life altering realization and one that has really changed me. I won't bother you with the long story from there to here. But I'll tell you some details. I am out to my brother and sister-in-law but not yet to my parents. I want to tell them very much, but I don't know how to go about it. I don't want to ruin their lives. But I think it'll happen sooner than later.
The other big part of this that has changed my life: I've had a boyfriend for over three years now. You already know him. It's Aaron. We've lived together for over two years now. We really do make each other happy. I really love him. I see a long life together with him.
So you probably have a lot of questions running through your mind. The first question that came to one friend's mind when I told her this news, was what my standing was with the Church. I'm not out to the Church either. I love the Church; I have a strong testimony of it. I don't go to Church every Sunday, but I'm not inactive either. I think the main reason going to Church is hard, isn't that I have any guilt... but rather the constant pressure to participate in things that I no longer can. I'm not worthy to participate in the Priesthood or attend the Temple. I can only really be "half" a member. But I want the Church to always be a part of my life. It just has to take on a different role now.
Now I've given you a lot to swallow. But I don't want to over do it. I'm sure you have questions and I promise I will answer every one of them honestly and to the best of my ability. It took me years to come to terms with this, so I don't expect you to do it any faster. I'm a good person, I've just been faced with some very hard decisions.
I turn 30 in a little over a week. I've made a goal to have my 30s be my best decade yet. Part of that means becoming a whole person. I'm bringing the two parts of my life into one complete whole. Coming out to friends and family has been a spiritual experience. The Spirit is drawn to the truth and now I can share it with you.
Please don't let any of this come between our friendships. I am still the same Scott. I love my friends, family, games, movies, science fiction, and have the same dry sense of humor. I trust you enough to share the important parts of my life.